Teardrops
by angel-brokensorrow
Summary: A betrayal, a death...a thirst for revenge. They start our favorite heroes on a downward spiral that shows that anything can happen. Even a resurrection...even time stopping... Slight Squinoa
1. The Mission

**Disclaimer-** I do not, in any way own Final Fantasy VIII, its characters, settings or affiliates. Blech.

This fic contains _some_ coarse language and dark situations. Discretion is advised.

**Rating-** PG-13 (I think!) It might be—**might**—be an R…(I hope not…) If it is…tell me…PLEASE!

**Author's Note- **This was intended to be a one shot, however it turned out to be way too long so I've separated them into parts.

Oh, and I apologize to the Selphie lovers, there's not much of her in here… Anyway beware of OOC-ness, I'm not sure if I caught all the parts…

* * *

**Teardrops**

**Part One**

"Is it important?" A small voice asked from the flowered couch behind him. The raven haired woman turned to face him, the television blared silently. Squall Leonhart ran a black gloved hand through his long, untamed hair. He let out a long tired breath.

"Yes…of course. It's _always _important." He answered as steadily as he could. He turned around. His hands rested on his hips as he forced himself to meet her brown eyes. Once, long ago, they were filled with life. Life that drew him in and made him feel strong. But now a lifeless sparkle filled the caramel depths. Her eyes sparkled as if they were on the verge of crying. As they usually were. When one crystalline tear fell down her pale face, he was struck with pain that pierced straight in to the deepest and darkest depths of his heart. Squall turned away and roughly grabbed his gunblade case.

"NO! That's not what I meant! Is this mission important to _you_?" Pain. Deep sorrow filled her words. He stopped in his tracks, not three feet away from his dorm door. No…_their_ room door. The room Rinoa Heartilly shared with him. His sorceress. Only this time, his sorceress was filled with pain. And spite. Rinoa wasn't spiteful before, back when Ultimecia had full reign on Terra.

He shut his eyes tightly and pondered her words. "No." Squall listened as she stood and approached him. Her soft steps creeking against the carpet.

"Then why…_why_ do you keep on risking your life again and again! Hyne Squall, I don't want to wait here for the rest for the rest of my life _wondering _if you're going to come back to u-me!" The gunblade wielder sighed and realized that it was the wrong thing to do when her footsteps against the carpet began to walk away from him.

"Rinoa…"

"NO!" She shouted through her tears. "NO! I will not stand here and let you make excuses for what you know is wrong!" Lightning flashed against the tall windows.

"I'm coming back for you." He murmured, turning his head to the side ever so slightly. Thunder rumbled in the distance. The loud rolling thunder disguised the shattering glass so well; he only realized that the vase had made contact with the wall when the pieces of porcelain and various flowers fell against the light blue carpet.

He turned suddenly and almost gaped at her right then and there. But luckily, because of his battle experience, he was trained to hide surprise…and have quick reflexes. He barely moved his head in time to miss a picture frame flying over his shoulder. "Rin…what the-"

Her beautiful lips were soft and pink--the lips he had often kissed in the night and at the early morning--curled back into a snarl. But to him, she was still as beautiful as the day he met her. "You might come back for me…but you'll be too late. We'll be gone by then!" She spat and threw a second Estharian vase at him. He quickly slipped through the door and let the vase crash against it. He had no time to wonder about the meaning of 'we'. Another rumble of thunder floated through dark almost smoky sky.

"Bye Rinoa." He whispered before closing the door shut. He winced at the second crash of glass against the door. "I love you." He murmured again, his head bent to the ground, before walking down the hallways of Balamb Garden.

* * *

Another crash of thunder boomed at her. But Rinoa paid no mind. She paced along the windows, stopping for a few moments to look out at the dark glittering lights of Deling City. Then she went back to her pacing.

Contemplation. Something that always seemed to make things worse. She wanted to stop thinking! For a moment, she stopped and looked at the phone on the table. Right beside the china vase Xu had given her. At least where the vase used to be. Closing her eyes she swayed in her place. Immediately, a bolt of lightning and a crash of thunder erupted in the distance.

She couldn't really leave Squall…could she? He did promise that it was the last mission. But didn't he say that before? Regardless of his promises, most of them empty, Rinoa knew she couldn't leave him. She loved him and always would. Her eyes snapped open and she ran to the phone. A deep arrow of sorrow buried itself deep inside of her. It seemed like a blur. She barely felt herself press the buttons on the phone. But she did feel her hand travel over her stomach.

As the soft ringing signalled the accepted connection of her call, her left hand began to tremble almost uncontrollably. She looked down at it as if that alone would stop the shaking. In an effort to control her frazzled nerves, she took deep breaths. Control. Her eyes flew to the rings on her finger like paperclips to a magnet. She instinctively balanced the cordless phone between her cheek and shoulder to run a finger over the diamond and band.

She remembered the day he had slid those rings on her finger. But the vows she had said to him, and he to her was as clear as glass. How she longed for those days again! The ones where life seemed simple and the world didn't seem to care. The trembling ceased and a warm feeling washed over her, fighting the chill that kept her on the verge of tears. Thunder rumbled behind her. Startled, Rinoa realized that not matter how much risk involved in being a SeeD she would always love him.

But that didn't mean she had the strength to stay with him. She shut her eyes tightly.

She couldn't take it anymore. She wouldn't.

_'Hello? Quistis Trepe speaking.'_ A soft smile crept its way on her lips.

"Hi Quisty, its Rinoa." Quickly, she ran across the room and dug into the closet, careful to not step on any shards of porcelain. "I need you to do me a big favour."

_'Sure I guess. What's up?' _She emerged from the closet with three large bags and one rolling bag. Dropping them on the floor she transferred the phone into her hand.

"I need you to help me pack."

* * *

The car ride to Deling City was quiet. The driver was too nervous to speak and Squall…well…he had a lot on his mind. For one, he didn't understand why they had to have the mission briefing in here of all places. Hyne, who was he kidding? Rinoa filled his every thought. She appeared with her bright smile in one image, and with tears falling down the next. Several times he almost ordered the driver to turn back to the garden. But he had a job to do. It was his duty. But he swore it was his last mission. It had to be.

It was only when the car turned into the lot beside the abandoned building where he was to have his briefing when Squall realized the risk and gains in this mission. In this whole scenario.

There was always the risk of not coming back to his wife. He couldn't bare the fact that she would mourn. For him no less. Sure, he needed the gil, but he had saved more than enough to buy the cozy house in Winhill Rinoa always wanted. But if he left now, SeeD would hunt him down and mark him as a deserter. As he stepped out of the black car, the heavy air hit him. At the same time though, he realized something. Any risk that involved Rinoa was too big of one altogether. He couldn't go into the face of danger with her face in his mind. He just couldn't. He had to tell Cid that he was leaving. _Tonight._ He lugged his gunblade case out of the trunk of the car.The thunder boomed out behind him.

Squall stepped into the brick building.

* * *

The man who called himself Phoenix chuckled as he added the silencer to his rifle. It wasn't his real name of course. Only a fool would give theirs out so freely. Luckily, his employer didn't care, as long as this Squall Leonhart fellow was dead by morning. Supposedly, the guy was the best gunblade wielder in the world. He snickered and took his spot on the rooftop beside the building 'Squall' had just entered. He's bet his rifle that a bullet would win against a sword any day. Thunder and lightning flashed. 

It was unfortunate that the rifle Phoenix had was very difficult to reload. In the event that he missed, he was to use the 'Ice Strike' magic his employer had given him. But just as he told the General, he wouldn't miss. He never did.

He almost let himself laugh right out loud but luckily in time he stopped himself. He felt like he was in a clichéd movie. The man called Phoenix would be the awful, cold-blooded assassin while Squall would be the fallen hero. The guy would also have beautiful wife expecting a child that she hadn't told him about. That wasn't too far from the truth at least. But then again, the name he chose was far from _not_ clichéd. He snickered again. Luckily he was a fan of the cliché.

It was really too bad the old man--Cid Kramer?--played right into his hands. The hunter lay in wait, his prey would spring the trap soon enough. The General was right. Other than the large amount of money the old man was paying, Phoenix hated him. What kind of sick SOB would send out an order to kill his daughter's husband because he hated the guy? Or for the fact that the guy knocked her up? Phoenix might have been playing the roll of the cold-blooded killer tentatively, but General Caraway fit the roll for crazy ass mastermind to a T.

* * *

_Rinoa…this is crazy…you can't leave!' _Quistis yelled through the phone. Rinoa winced and pulled the phone away from her ear. She paused midway in stuffing clothes in one of the bags.

"Quistis…" Suddenly feeling drained both emotionally and physically, she dropped onto the couch. "I'm just so tired. I can't take it anymore Quisty…I can't." She ran a hand through her hair and closed her eyes. She felt a burning sensation behind her eyes. "Hyne I have to leave…"

_'Rinoa…why?__ You have everything you ever wanted don't you? Squall loves you and you love him, you said you liked working for Laguna, writing his speeches and all…'_ A flash of thunder illuminated the night sky for a moment.

"It's hard Quistis. When I married him, I didn't think I signed up for a life like…like this." She shrugged her shoulders as if her friend could see the gesture. "I guess I should have thought of that huh?" Quistis audibly sighed.

_'Rinoa, I know you. I know that you put everything you got into something. Whether it be a simple project or a relationship. But you have to ask yourself--did you _really_ do your best to make your marriage work? Are you willing to start over in your life without someone that you love?' _Rinoa closed her eyes. Thunder tore through the unnerving silence.

"For my baby I will." She heard Quistis gasp but waited for a moment before continuing on. "Look Quisty, I can pack with or without you. Your choice."

_'I'll be right over.' _

* * *

Headmaster Cid's voice droned on. True, it wasn't much of a 'droning' type of voice, but Squall had _much_ better things to do then sit around in a darkened room while the older man briefed him about a mission he was convinced not to go on! Already several times he had tried to object, but Cid rushed past him, claiming that he had other business to attend to. He frowned.

"Squall! Squall! Are you even listening!" He jolted out of his thoughts and shifted his eyes towards the man in the red sweater vest, his expression unchanging.

"Sorry Headmaster." He apologized gruffly. Cid laughed whole heartedly. "I've chang-"

"Squall…how many times have I told you to just call me Cid?" For a moment, he scowled but quickly regained his composure.

"Head--Cid, I can't--" The headmaster cut his sentence off with a wave of his hand, his facial features drawn in a serious expression. The slight wrinkles deepened.

"I know what you're going to say Squall, and I don't want to hear it! The Garden _needs_ you to complete this mission! It's your job as a _Commander_ to look out for the well-being of the students and staff." Something he buried deep inside him suddenly resurfaced. His emotions burst like a dam.

"If I remember correctly _Headmaster, you're_ the one who made me Commander without _my _agreement, _you're_ the one who made sure I couldn't back away from this damn _job_, so why don't you just fuck you and your damn responsibilities!" Squall flipped open his gunblade case and hefted his synthesized weapon out. He needed to kill something. He stomped out the door, leaving in his wake a shocked silence. Thunder and lightning danced among the ominous clouds.

* * *

"You can't do this Rinoa…you can't!" Quistis said fervently, dropping the bag right beside the door. After shutting it, she lifted the small hand bag again and swung it down on the couch.

"You've already told me that. My answer is the same Quisty, I'm leaving whether you or Squall likes it or not." The sorceress answered carefully from inside the washroom, packing up her toiletries. Sighing, the newly re-instated instructor zipped the bag open.

"Fine, I got the gil you wanted. There's about five million in large and small bills. It should be enough until you get a job. But what are you going to do about your identity? When Squall finds out you're gone…" Rinoa emerged from the washroom with her large duffel bag.

"I'm going to my father's. He should provide me with a new identity." Giving her friend a tight and obviously forced smile. "I'll miss you." Quistis nodded and looked around the dorm.

Double dorms were much large than SeeD apartments. But the room looked so much smaller than it was. Rinoa's essence was simply gone from the room. The walls were bare from portraits and photos, the books that used to lie around the room were shuffled away and the liveliness she brought to it disappeared. It was empty. From the looks of it, it seemed the _very_ emotional sorceress saw what Quistis saw as well.

"Call me and tell me where you are. Then I'll be able to bring Angelo to you. Selphie'll be fine to take care of him for a bit longer." Rinoa nodded gratefully in response and dragged the four bags to the door one by one.

"Are you sure you can carry them all by yourself? I can call a couple SeeDs…" Quistis offered, leaning against the back of the couch. She shook her head.

"That's all right Quisty I'll be fine by myself." And with a sigh, the sorceress looked at the dorm one more time. "I'll miss this place…" The instructor opened her mouth to speak. "No Quisty…I'm not staying and that's that." Sighing, Rinoa lifted the bags up and out the door. It closed loudly behind her. Running to the cordless phone on the right of her, she dialled a number. Rinoa couldn't leave. She couldn't.

* * *

Squall was halfway down the stairs in the darkened room when a shrill ringing interrupted his thoughts. As much as he hated cell phones, Rinoa made him carry one, just in case she needed to call. It was dangerous to be sure as it could go off during a mission that needed stealth, but regardless, he carried it. He paused and unclipped it from one of his trademark belts and snapped it open.

"Leonhart."

_'Oh thank Hyne you son of a bitch!'_ A very feminine, very _agitated_ voice shouted through the phone. He winced. _'You bastard, I don't care what the hell you did to Rinoa or what you said, you get your ass back here before she leaves your sorry ass!'_ Quistis continued on, her voice elevating an octave.

"Quistis…what are you talking about?" He asked carefully, a prickle of fear breaching those high stone walls he had built around his heart.

_'Are you really that ignorant? She's leaving you. As I speak, she's lugging her bags down to leave your sorry ass, and I can't say I blame her. She won't stay here so you have to come back!' _Those walls crumbled to the ground. Squall cursed several times before running down the stairs again.

"Shit…Quisty stall her, I'll be there in a few!" Snapping close his cell phone, he stuffed it in his jacket pocket.

"Stop!"

* * *

He did not regard himself as a smart man, nor did he think that his life would turn out like the fairy tale he and his wife had dreamed of. But regardless, Headmaster Cid Kramer thought he knew what was best for his SeeDs. Obviously, he didn't. Especially Squall. Throughout the Ultimecia Incident, he had often received questions concerning his move to promote the gunblade wielder to the position of the Commander. Of course, he _knew_ it was fated to be, he also had ulterior motives. Thunder crashed, signalling the beginning of the down pour.

He felt that Squall had depended on him as somewhat of a father figure, albeit it was only a slight feeling to be sure. But Cid had reciprocated in full force. After all, he had no chances to have children as his own. Edea--Hyne was she beautiful--was unable to bear children as a result of the powers passing to her.

It was unfortunate, most definitely, but the emptiness in his heart was slowly filled with the life that he found in those 6 children he and Edea had taken care of. Especially when she had left him. But that didn't matter, at least at this moment. He thought that Squall needed something to challenge him from keeping himself from getting restless. Obviously, he was wrong. Even as he ran down the spiral stairway he berated himself for it. What Squall needed was his family. That meant his wife and daughter. That was Cid's reasoning when he left to find Squall and apologize.

Internally, he knew that the younger version of himself was rushing down to either work off some frustration or run back to Rinoa. And honestly, the headmaster found no fault in that.

The familiarities between Squall and himself almost astounded him, but he counted it in good favour as, just as he had predicted, Squall was almost out the door. Relieved that he had caught him, he yelled and jumped over the railing. Luckily, it was only a few feet down. His legs could handle it.

"Squall, I have to talk to you!" Cid groaned from the floor. On his landing, his legs stung _painfully_ and buckled under him. He was wrong…his legs _couldn't_ handle it. He was getting far too old for this. Slowly, he leaned on the wall, trying to collect his bearings.

Squall stopped just in front of the doors, one gloved hand on the handle of the door. He seemed to take a moment to control himself. Cid very well expected the man to lash out at him.

"What?" Almost immediately, he was taken aback. No…he was definitely not expecting that. Not at all.

"Umm…I want to apologize for my behaviour. I-I understand why you're so…angry at me, I wouldn't like my life to be turned upside down due to someone else's decision."

"I'm not Cid Kramer!" Squall shouted, stepping towards him. His long, shoulder length brown hair swayed with him. "I don't live my life like you do! Understand this _Headmaster:_ I am not YOU! I am not your little protégé either! I am _Commander_ Squall Leonhart of Balamb Garden!" At that, he pivoted on his heel and stalked into the pouring rain. A large bolt of lightning lit the night sky through the glass doors as if it were day light already. Almost immediately, before the blinding light had a faded, a deafening rumble of thunder followed. But Headmaster Cid Kramer paid it little to no mind. He frowned at the stone floor. Edea would most certainly be ashamed of him. That would be the case if she were living.

* * *

"See Zell, I _told _you that shouldn't trust that hotdog ya bought from that street vender." Irvine Kinneas said smirking as Zell Dincht emptied his stomach into a dumpster. Suddenly, his heaves stopped and he went out of the alley way to face the cowboy who was leaning against a dark and very much abandoned apartment building. Deling City wasn't exactly the best place to hang out.

"I don't care, it was damn good! Besides…how was I supposed to know it was bad for me?" Irvine's smirk grew.

"Zellie boy…" He drawled his accent strengthening. Irvine patted the martial artist's shoulder. "It was green." he motioned forward to Zell's person

"How was I supposed to know I wasn't supposed to eat it?" Zell grumbled under his breath just as lightning and thunder danced over head. The storm began to descend.

------

"Rinoa!" Quistis called out, running past cadets and SeeDs alike. Many students were late to step aside from her path and were left sitting on the waxed tiled floors, watching as their instructor ran like the winds through the halls. Thunder crashed loudly and darkness covered the Garden.

------

Squall was unfazed by the huge bolt of lightning which crashed down just yards away from him. If it were not for his battle trained ears, he would not have heard the gunshot ring out, nor would he be able to see the small blur flying just over his shoulder.

* * *

It was chaos throughout. Screams of panic and terror erupted through the city as the thoughts of attacks from the sorceress reborn again or even that Esthar was hunting them. The Garden however was just slightly calmer than this. But that didn't mean Quistis had any easier time getting the students back on track. 

In the very moment the lights faltered, screams were heard and yells of pleas to be calm echoed out. But she could hear the footsteps of fleeing Cadets and SeeDs. At least, she thought they were SeeDs.

"Get out of our way! We're SeeDs!" Oh yeah…they were SeeDs.

"STOP!" She shouted loudly, her voice reverberating throughout the Garden. Almost immediately, silence filled the air, both tense, and surprised. Taking out the flashlight in her belt, she clicked it on and scanned the area, the bright light landing on the man who she was sure had screamed for _lowly_ cadets to get out of his way. She almost slapped him right there.

"I want _everyone_ to calm down! It's just a blackout, attacks on the Garden have not been happening. Now if _everybody_ would _please_ make their way to the Quad. Also, if two SeeDs are able to make sure all Junior Class men are safe, it would greatly appreciated. Thank you!" She paused for a moment and added, "In an orderly fashion, if I see any trampled Cadets, SeeDs or Junior class men…" She didn't really mean to leave the threat hanging because well…chances were, if a student were found to be hurt due to the commotion, there would be no real evidence to point out who had done the most damage.

"SeeD Wailan! May I speak to you?" Quistis asked sternly. She really didn't want to frighten him…yet. The man was tall and fairly handsome to most women. However, he had a mischievous glint in his eyes. He turned to face her and stepped out of the crowd, then saluted. Another SeeD, judging from her uniform stepped out with him and mirrored his actions. They looked good together. The instructor wasn't exactly sure where her notions had come from, but she thought that nevertheless.

"Instructor." The girl mirrored that also. Quistis nodded tersely and clicked off her flashlight.

"Wailan…"

"Please Instructor," The SeeD broke in, his throaty voice seeming to sing. The instructor raised an eyebrow questioningly. The expression was mostly faced towards herself and why she had noticed that. Hyne, she really needed a boyfriend! The guy was 2 years younger than her! "Please call me Scott." The girl seemed to sense something odd in him and frowned then proceeded to slap his arm.

"Scotty, stop flirting with the instructor!" She half managed to whisper, half shouted. The man—_Scott_--flashed a smile at her. A bubble of anger rose up in her. She had always hated these kinds of boys. The ones who thought they were so popular and handsome. Her hand itched to slap him across the face. Of course, it would be dangerous to her career.

"Excuse me! But if you two are finished here, I would like to ask you why you felt the need to yell that you were SeeDs to make others move aside for you. Do you find yourself superior to others?" Quistis broke in with a firm voice. Immediately the girl straightened and the _boy's _cocky grin disappeared. Instantly, she knew why she both had a loathing to him, and an attraction. Seifer.

"We apologize Instructor but we had an emergency and we required help." The blonde girl reported her green eyes serious.

"What kind of emergency was this?"

"Ma'am, we found the Commander's wife, Rinoa Heartilly, collapsed on the ground, just outside the entrance of the Dorms."

_To be Continued…_

* * *

**Author's Note-** Hi, this is the end of the Part one and yes, thank you for reviewing :winks: I'm hoping everyone who reads this (Both anonymous reviewers and those with accounts) will review, regardless if it sucks or what not. As long as it's constructive!

All mistakes within are mine. My wonderful beta has not contacted me in quite a bit of time so I decided to let her relax and all…

Also, as a note, I'll update in about two weeks (hopefully) so stay tuned! And as a warning, there are going to be some Character Deaths in here, but worry not, they'll still be in the story.

_**Edited to rid of Song Lyrics. **_


	2. The Stage is Set

**Part Two**

"Dammit…get the hell off me Irvine!" Zell yelled, pushing the lanky cowboy off him. He rolled off him and onto his back. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" The cowboy sat up and looked up at the sky, rain pouring down on him.

"You didn't hear it?" Zell snorted.

"Obviously not…" Irvine looked at him. No…not at him…more like _through_ him. He just attributed it to the low visibility in the rain.

"Something's wrong…I heard a gunshot from the other side of the building." The martial artist looked at him questioningly. Or at least tried to.

"When?"

"Just now dumbass…" He laughed.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" Suddenly, Irvine sobered up and doubled over.

"I don't know…something's wrong…I can't…feel…it itches…my arms…my hands…it burns!" Zell barely caught him before the cowboy fell back onto the sidewalk.

* * *

"You just got lucky. I don't shoot well in the night. I don't exactly aim well when there's a lightning bolt in my face." The voice floated through, piercing his consciousness. Was that his voice? Squall squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. No…it couldn't be his voice…nor anybody else he knew. But regardless, he didn't know what the man--it was most definitely a man--was talking about. In fact, he didn't have the slightest clue to where he was. It took him a while to realize that he was propped up on…on something…it was probably a wall. He felt his eyelids flutter, slowly letting in the dim light. Thinking back to the words the man spoke earlier, he was barely able to fend of waves of confusion. It was in good fortune that there was cool rain beating down on him. It made him clear the blurs in his eyes and the cobwebs in his mind.

"I don't really see the honor in killing an unconscious man, but hey, I get paid to do this shit." A click echoed out in the open and frighteningly empty alley. When his vision cleared, he looked up at the man who casted the shadow over him. The man was fairly good looking. At least that was what Squall thoughy girls might think of the guy. He was an assassin; he had no doubts about that. And most likely, a good one. "You're probably wondering who I am. Phoenix…" A brutal smirk appeared on his young face. Phoenix couldn't be more than his own age. "…at your service." He stared into a gun no more than four meters away.

Immediately Squall's mind began work, wheels spinning. His gunblade was more than arms reach away from him. If he had tried to grab it, 'Phoenix' would get him before his hands would touch the hilt. He frowned almost imperceptibly. He didn't want to fight without his weapon. Squall almost felt remorse. He also almost felt remorse about the fact that he might never see Ri...no…he wouldn't think about that…at least not right now…he had to clear his mind and escape. His eyes tracked each brick on the wall, each crack on the ground before he looked back up at 'Phoenix'.

He wouldn't be able to attack Phoenix, he was too far from his reach and it was more likely he would shoot him before he got within two paces. He took back everything he said. He was damn good.

"Looking for a way out Squallie? Of course you are I wouldn't respect you if you didn't." Phoenix grinned. "Any last words?"

"SQUALL!!!" In that moment, the SeeD leaped in to action.

* * *

"GET OUT OF MY WAY!! I'M AN INSTRUCTOR!" Quistis screamed at the cadets, rushing past them. She didn't really care about them at the moment. She had to help her friend. If Rinoa was hurt…nope…she just had to make sure she wasn't hurt. She growled…if that junior classmen didn't get out of her way…well…she might just have to take out her whip.

In the darkness, she stood in the middle of the bridge which connected the Dorms to the main body of the Garden, her flashlight aiding her search for her friend. Her heart seemed ready to jump out of her chest. Did she hear the SeeDs wrong?! Where was she?! She felt the adrenaline wearing off and tiredness creeped in. The constant pattering of the rain helped. It was almost as if she was floating on clouds, save she was aware of every little thing. That was when she spotted the blue flash of fabric just further down the hall way. Quistis ran.

Oddly, she was nearly out of breath by the time she knelt beside the still body. It was only down the hall. Perhaps she needed to work out more often…nope, that was a thought for another time. Carefully, she applied pressure to the sorceress' limp wrist and paused. Her breath was caught in her throat. That is until; she felt the soft steady pulsing of her heartbeat. Sighing in relief, the instructor breathed again. However, she needed to make sure that Rinoa and her baby was ok.

"C'mon Rinny…" She whispered, it came out hoarse and deep. Her throat felt as if it had been run through sandpaper. There was no sign of injuries on Rinoa's body, save for several shoe shaped bruises on her arms and back. "Hyne…someone trampled you…" A wave of nausea passed over her and she ran over to the side of the hall and emptied the contents her stomach.

* * *

"Irvine…? OH SHIT!! Irvine…!" Zell ran a partially gloved hand through his spiked blond hair. After his failed attempts to revive the fallen Cowboy and the several curses which would make sailors on Fisherman's Horizon blush, his attentions were grabbed when a deep almost frantic voice screamed out the name that he knew well.

"SQUALL!!" At that, the martial artist almost leaped up and ran into the alley way just to his right side but was reminded of the _very_ heavy weight he was supporting. Now…he didn't think there were _that _many Squall's in the world. Or were there? It didn't matter, because he knew something bad was happening tonight. He could feel it in his gut. And to think that earlier today he thought that this would be a great time to pick up girls with Irvine. Looking down at the Cowboy and trying to wake him again, Zell almost sighed. No such luck.

* * *

Cid watched in horror at the events unfolding in front of him. If he had been 20 years younger, he would have ran in to aid the man he had once looked at as his son, but he was an old man, with a damning limp. So he watched.

The gun flew away from the attacker's grip and bounced against the wall, clattering just seven yards from himself and landing with a splash in a puddle. Eyes darting from the struggle the shiny weapon, the proud headmaster tried to hobble over to the weapon but a bolt of pain seized his leg. Cid cursed loudly, but he still watched as the attacker, straddling him, landed several punches on Squall's face. The man stopped as the commander coughed up blood but he spoke in quiet tones, Cid himself could barely hear them. The relentless pounding of the rain was loud. But he heard them all right.

"How's that pretty boy? You're a tough kid, I'll tell you that…but it's not my job to torture you." The attacker punched him again, crimson blood spraying out from the side and running down to the sewers, guided by the rain. Cid quickly snapped his eyes shut…he couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't…he scrambled on the ground and crawled towards the weapon, its shiny barrel was illuminated by the meagre rays of moonlight that managed to break through the thick blanket of clouds. Crawling hurt still, but it hurt much less than standing did. He could feel the water soak into his slacks and sweatervest. It chilled him to the bone. As if watching Squall hurt wasn't enough. Just as Cid's fingers fell on the slippery gun, a loud piercing scream of pain broke through the silence of Deling City. Lightning flashed in the distance.

* * *

Quistis woke slowly to darkness. Her mouth tasted awful. Hyne…she felt as if she had thrown up several times then went to sleep, letting the juices stale and soak in her mouth. It was only when she sat up and looked around her that it was true. She would have winced if not for the woman sitting up across from her. She looked tired. But Rinoa still resembled a porcelain doll. A very pretty porcelain doll.

The sorceress smiled softly and lifted a hand to wave at her. "You've been out for a while sleepy head," Quistis groaned at the throbbing pain in her head.

"What in Hyne happened to me?" Rinoa stood, on hand pushing her up, the other covering her stomach protectively.

"I'm sorry Quisty, it's all my fault."

"What? I don't understand…" She smiled even brighter but suddenly it stopped frozen in its place. Brown eyes widened as the sorceress let out a blood curdling scream. Thunder rumbled.

* * *

"'Bout damn time man!" Zell yelled happily, though not as loudly as he would have two years ago. It was still enough to make Irvine wince. The lanky man stood unsteadily, leaning on the wall for support. "You need a potion or something man?" He was rewarded with a curt nod and a squinting glare. Rainwater fell from the brim of Irvine's hat.

"I hate you."

"Wha-?"

"You're not sick…" He whispered hoarsely, grabbing a potion from one of his white trench coat's wide pockets and draining its contents quickly.

"Now that's just hurtful!" Zell cried in mock-pain, stepping back dramatically with a hand to his heart.

"Screw…you…"

"Isn't that what Selphie does?" A grin countered a scowl.

"You little…son of…a bitc-" A ring pierced the quiet but dark streets. For a moment both men recoiled back in surprise until they realized it came from them. More importantly from Zell. He stuffed his hand into one of his black baggy pants and revealed a phone, black sleek and much cooler than Squall's. At least that was what the martial artist thought.

"S'up?"

_'Zell…where the hell are you right now!??" _Quistis' voice, amplified by the microphone pounded into his ears.

"Deling City…why?" Irvine looked at him, and put his hand to his ear like a phone. He mouthed 'Who is it?' "Quistis," he whispered just as the voice flooded through again.

_'Good…there's something wrong with Rinoa…go find Squall, he should be in the only abandoned apartment in Deling City for a mission briefing with the Headmaster! Get there right now! I don't care if you have to steal cars or piss a big bitch off, just go and find him and make sure he's ok!!'_

"What…why…" But the line fell silent and the click signified that she had hung up. It wasn't like her to hang up so abruptly but…He stuffed the phone back in his pocket and ran down the alley way, leaving Irvine in all his glory, scrambling up to chase after him.

* * *

The man who called himself Phoenix never thought of himself as a selfish, cold-blooded mercenary although he knew that he was the exact opposite. Unlike most assassins, he got close to people instead of staying back and watching them on the television, or from his apartment. When he pulled the trigger of his second back-up gun, he felt no remorse, save for the fact that he was probably condemning the man's wife and unborn child to a life without him.

'Squall' screamed loudly, and it pierced his soul. For once, he had no idea why. Many times, he got close to people; women, children, young men, old men, teenagers, and more times than he can count he was hired to kill them. Perhaps it was just as random as a toss of the dice. Or maybe it was purposeful, as if Hyne himself tested him from the heavens.

He always felt pain in his heart. Each time it hardened it, pulling a thick shield higher and higher. He thought it was as high as it would go. Obviously he was wrong. The walls shattered and pain gripped him. He watched as the bullet pierced Squall's upper right shoulder and he fell to the ground. He was alive. Squall was alive. They were both alive…gloriously alive.

But Phoenix wasn't so sure that he was. Was he really? He killed for a living. Watched as the life drained from the eyes of the victims countless of times and enjoyed the thrill of it. But something was missing. But he finally found out what it was. After 33 years, he finally knew.

Squall's life flashed in front of him. He saw everything. Each and every moment and thought.

--_I was scared... ...Really scared._

_--It's over now._

_--I was scared... I was really, really scared._

_--You're not used to battles, aren't you?_

_--I couldn't...I just couldn't. I couldn't fight alone..._

_--(...You're not ready for all of this.) Better get going. I haven't forgotten your order. Just stay close to me._

He didn't know why it was happening…and he didn't care…he wanted it to stop. It hurt.

_--I didn't like the guy, but executed...?_

_--You really hated Seifer, didn't you, Zell!?_

_--Yeah, but... He was from Garden... He was one of us. If I can, I wanna get revenge._

_--(__I liked him... wasn't really a bad guy... He was one of us...Seifer... You've just become just a memory. Will they...Will they talk about me this way if I die, too? Squall was this and that. Using past tense, saying whatever they want? So this is what death is all about...Not for me. I won't have it!!!)_

Guilt…he had never felt guilt before, especially after a kill, save the first time he had taken a life. His sister's.

_--I'm not a SeeD. There must be some kind of secret you're given when you become a SeeD!_

_--There's nothing. Even if there were, you think I'd tell you?_

_--You're on my 'tough-nut-to-crack' list. Didn't think you'd talk that easily._

_--...Geez, I'm honored._

_--So here's a little somethin' for ya._

It burnt him; he felt the pain, so intense…

_--Arrrrghhhh..._

_--Even if you don't talk, others will. The instructor, the little messenger girl, or that Chicken-wuss... He wouldn't last 3 seconds!_

_--(__Th__...They're...) ...They're...all here...?_

_--Oh, you bet. But since I like you so much, I thought you should go first. I was hoping you'd be there, Squall. So...how'd I look in my moment of triumph? My childhood dream, fulfilled. I've become the sorceress' knight._

_--(__...Sorceress' knight...His...romantic dream...? But...Seifer...Now, you're just...) ...A torturer._

_--What did you say!? Passed out cold, eh? This is the scene where you swear undying hatred for me! The tale of the evil mercenary vs. the sorceress knight... The fun's just started, Squall. Don't disappoint me now!_

How could he have stood that? Phoenix couldn't. He felt like weeping on the floor. Pain.

_--Sir, I'd like to handle whatever it is that you're planning._

_--And why is that?_

_--(__...I don't know... Because you might screw up....Because I want to do more than announce the evacuation. Because this place is important to me, too. (Because I want to find out your plan. Because this is my home. I have too many reasons. I don't know why... Who cares?) My feelings have nothing to do with it, sir._

_--Heh heh, Quistis was right. You do have a hard time expressing your feelings._

_--(__Why bother. And what is this? Why am I being judged?) Sir! Please tell us your plan!_

Déjà vu. So strong…Squall was like him. So similar yet so different. Rain poured harder, dripping onto his exposed face.

_--It was just a dream... It doesn't mean anything. Don't worry about it._

_-- ...I guess you're right._

_--How about this... I'll be here..._

_--...Why?_

___--The reason why you couldn't find me was because we haven't promised yet._

_--Promised...?_

_--I'll be waiting for you. If you come here, you'll find me. I promise._

_--I'll be here, too. It's a promise! Thanks, Squall! Next time, we'll meet for sure!_

Love…that was the difference between mercenaries…Squall loved…Phoenix did not, had not. Something stirred inside him. Squall's eyes opened in front of him, looking up at him. Piercing blue eyes burrowing deep. A cloud passed over them and he realized he was reliving everything too.

"Rinoa…" Squall croaked out. Remorse filled him and Phoenix felt the magic in him, tempting him. Strong.

_--...A SeeD.__ ...Planted in a run-down Garden._

Fighting…violence…contempt…

_-- I can fight if I'm with you! That's why I'm here!_

_--I have to redeem myself._

_--...The accursed SeeD._

__Did it end yet? …no…violence never ended.

_--Impudent SeeDs!_

His hand rose up before him and swung back, gathering momentum towards the wounded gunblade wielder. Magic pulsated within him, beating with his heart, shining like the sun and he reached out for it. Cold ice appeared in his hand, glinting slightly in the faint moonlight. Before he could stop himself, it flew from his hands and into Squall. Déjà vu. But something was different. Then it hit him.

The ice speared through Squall's left shoulder, blood immediately staining its brilliance. He didn't so much as make a sound. A trail of blood made its way down his chin from the corner of his mouth. Phoenix fell into a crumpled heap. Blue eyes met his and pain. He didn't hear the scream of agony to his left until he felt the first punch.

* * *

"Do you feel it? My powers grow…and they've been using themselves to twist time and fate. I swear I didn't mean to hurt anyone." Rinoa whispered, rocking herself back and forth in the dark. "I swear I didn't mean to use them on you. Will you forgive me?" She didn't see Quistis' nod, but she didn't need to, her friend would forgive her.

"I'm scared Quisty…I think something's happening to Squall. I can't stop it…but my powers are using themselves again. I can feel them…but ever since Edea died, I've been unable to control them." The sorceress paused. "What will happen now? To my baby…do you think I'll be able to carry to term without endangering anyone?..." 

She murmured on, into the darkness, not seeing the instructor's blue lips and wide open eyes, frozen forever in a shocked expression. She was rigid but beautiful all at once. Rinoa spoke to the shell of a body that used to house the soul of Quistis Trepe. 

_To be Continued…_

* * *

**Author's Note-**Before all the flames come in I just have to say, I wasn't planning to kill Quistis off, but I didn't know how else I could make her move on in her life. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this (if any actually read this, which I doubt…I can't believe I'm talking to myself…).

This also went unbeta-ed so all mistakes are mine…tell if there are any by the way…I'm not exactly the epitome of revising and editing. Which sucks...

Anyway, if you happened to like this so far, keep following along and PLEASE read some of my other fics. Most of them desperately need reviews!

Thank you for your time and please **review!! Constructive criticism is VERY welcome!!**

_Hyne__- _Thanks for your beta-ing offers but at the moment I don't really have a need of a beta, I think I'm pretty efficient at editing so far, but if a problem comes to my attention, and my beta still is busy, I'll gladly accept your services. (If they're still available.) Thanks a bunch for reviewing!!!


	3. The Realisation

**Part Three**

****

Darkness. It was so dark…but within he could see, albeit barely, a light. A shining light beaconing him. Squall reached out into the darkness and tried to hold that light in his hand. And it succumbed to him easily. It was so bright it almost hurt his eyes in the total darkness. _Almost. _His breath came slower and he knew something was wrong but it didn't matter. The light was so pretty that it didn't matter. It didn't matter that he wouldn't see Rinoa, or Quistis, or Zell, Irvine and Selphie. It didn't matter because as the light swallowed him he realized, he would be going to happy place and soon, his friends would be joining him.

Just barely illuminated in the light, he saw a shadow. He grinned and waved. The figure waved back and he saw her face. Her blonde hair was alit like a halo, a blue eyed smile graced him and she ran into his arms.

"It's great to see you again Squall." She murmured into his shoulder. Placing a hand gently on the back of her head, he smiled.

"It's good to see you too Quisty."

* * *

The world stopped. Everything came to an abrupt stand still. Irvine was afraid to breathe. To his eyes, a sharp shooter's eyes, he saw something he never in, his life time, wanted to see. Squall had stopped breathing. Just as he gave hope, he had to take it back.

He was barely aware of Zell's tentative callings. In the back of his mind he answered them.

_-What's wrong?_

Everything. __

_-Is everything ok?_

Nothing will ever be ok.__

_-Irvine answer me! _

I can't.__

_-Hyne…you're freaking all of us out here!!_

I know, I'm sorry.

_-Squall?_

He's dead.

Suddenly, there were no more questions and a thick, thunderous silence settled over them. Irvine turned his eyes towards them and they were almost stunned with shock. He realized that he had answered aloud.

"Wha…are you…sure?" Zell choked out, cerulean blue eyes glittering with unshed tears. With a solemn nod, Irvine dropped his eyes to the concrete floor. "NO! He can't..." The martial artist's shoulders shook with sobs. Slowly, he pushed himself into a corner and burrowed himself deeper in to his black coat. "Not Squall…"

Cid made an attempt at giving both younger men a comforting smile, but failed miserably. "What do we do know?" Irvine looked at him blankly, no emotion save sadness and rage were inside him. The rain seeped into his skin, the reality of _every_thing crashed down. This was for real.

"I dunno…there's Rinoa…We hafta call her…and there's tellin' Quisty and Sefie." He took off his hat and sighed. "There's the police to arrest that bastard." He said, nodding towards the assassin on the ground. He was too weak to fight anyway, despite the reasoning—good reasoning—behind it. He just wanted to wake from this dream—nightmare—and pretend that this never happened. But…the pain was far too real. He wanted to do anything, try everything make Squall breathe again. Hyne…he would even give him mouth to mouth. But nothing would work at this point. He was really gone. No amount of phoenix downs or potions would help. It was over.

"I'll call Rinoa…you take care of Squall." Irvine almost laughed. Taking care…a good job he had done…

* * *

Rinoa sang softly to her baby, a lullaby from Timber she had learnt indirectly from the leader of the Forest Fox. It was a lovely song, with both beautiful lyrics and tune. She'd bet that Quisty was sleeping quietly from her singing. Soon, the lullaby was at its end and a soft silence wafted over her. For a moment she wondered why she couldn't hear Quistis' breathing, but immediately remembered that her friend was always a quiet sleeper. Also, she realized the thunder had stopped, and the rain poured down lightly. It had a peaceful almost rhythmic quality to it. Life was good.

She sat there, comforted by the presence of her friend and inside, her baby. Soon everything would be perfect, Squall would come back and they could live happily ever after. It never occurred to her—not once—to leave her husband as she had previously planned to. She would stick it through.

The comfortable almost silence was broken by shrill ringing. Several times she had regretted not getting a different, more pleasing ring-tone of course, this was one of the times. The peace was broken and almost immediately, she could imagine a baby's cries. Her baby's cries. Rinoa indulged in a smile. She couldn't wait.

She dug into her jacket pocket and fished out her cell phone, a deep navy blue color. She could just picture clothing her child in blue fabric. Her smile widened. Flipping it open, she looked at her caller ID. It was Cid! Cid? Why would he be calling her?

"Hello, Rinoa Heartilly speaking." Rinoa almost recoiled back in surprise. Something filled her soul. Something she had no idea was missing. Independence. One of the main reasons of her leaving Squall. She was becoming far too dependent on him. She couldn't afford to do that, at least with his kind of work, of course anything could happen.

_'Hey…it's…Headmaster Cid…how…how are you?'_

"I'm fine Cid, I really am,"

_'Good…Good…'_ She could almost see him nodding his head, but she was unable to see the real tears falling from his eyes. _'Is…Is Quistis—Instructor Trepe—there at the moment?' _Rinoa smiled and looked down at the darkness.

"Yep…she's right here…would you like to speak to her?"

_'No-no-no-that's fine, but…I need to tell you something.'_ A cold shiver slid up her spine and suddenly the sky above, clouds and all its glory seemed ominous again.

"What's wrong Cid?" He cleared his throat. She heard a faint murmur from the other side. "Cid?"

_'You…are…aware of…Squall's assigned mission briefing tonight correct?'_

"Yes…" she immediately answered, more than a little confused. Since when did Cid get so formal with one of them…with her?

_'Well…I have…some…awf-bad news…there was a…an assassin waiting for him.'_ A gasp escaped her lips and she fell back onto the glass with a thud.

"Wha-is Squall alright?" A moment passed with no answer, she could hear the rainfall and a slight shuffling of feet.

_'No…Rinoa…he's…' _She felt…empty. Inside her was nothing. But outside, in the farthest end of her consciousness she could _see_ despair, hopelessness and fear. Inside…blankness. No emotion, no life.

"What!?? Please Headmaster; tell me if he's okay!" She said as calmly as she could. The emotions tried to break through the dark barrier but she couldn't let it.

_'I…I'm sorry Rinoa…'_ The barrier shattered.

"NO!! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE, HE CAN'T BE DEAD!! HE'S NOT! I WON'T BELIEVE IT! He's not dead…he can't be…no…" Sobs wracked her body. She felt exhausted tired and dead. But the pain, strong and fresh throbbed within her. Her chest burned. "He's not dead…" She whispered into the phone. "No…"

* * *

Irvine could almost hear Rinoa's sobs. And it broke his heart. He thought Rinoa of a sister he never had, albeit a younger one whereas Quistis was the older one. And seeing one of his sister's hurt and broken-hearted left scorch marks on his soul. They wouldn't be healing in light of recent events. 

He just hoped Quistis was taking good care of her. During Cid's painful conversation with Rinoa, he had tried to comfort Zell. The martial artist wasn't crying anymore. Not much at least, he was just rocking himself back and forth. Mumbling incoherently to himself.

So far, he hadn't gotten far with Zell so he had decided to talk—interrogate—the assassin. As much as he wished he didn't, he pitied the man. His nose was broken, and he had a nasty black eye. He wouldn't have been surprised if the Martial Artist had chipped a few teeth.

"Hey!" Irvine yelled, hauling him to a sitting position. For his own sake, Irvine tried to be a little gentle. He didn't believe in hurting someone who's already hurt enough. But his hatred for the man had a great bearing over him. A soft moan escaped his bloody lips. "Hey c'mon…I need to talk to you…wake up!"

"I'm sorry General…" The man mumbled. General? Who was this General? "I don't usually sleep in briefings…" Clearing his throat, Irvine tried to play along.

"That's alright man. Just tell me your name and my name," Deep green eyes opened and squinted.

"I a'ready told ya didn't I? Besides...ya should know ya own damned name." He slurred out, eyes blinking.

"It's a test…remember, I need to know if you're competent enough to…" Irvine paused and pushed down the bile rising in his throat. "To kill Squall Leonheart."

"A'right, ma name is Phoenix, but ya can call me Charles. Ya name is General Thomas Caraway…" For a moment, Cid and Zell's eyes turned to Charles and Irvine realized that he and the man were 'conversing' loudly. Too loudly. In that moment, he heard Rinoa's shocked scream.

* * *

Smooth honey and sweet roses. Buttery caramel and cotton candy blue. Fluffy cloud white and sloppy, slithering green. Storm cloud grey and sunshine yellow. Flowers…so many flowers. This was the definition of beauty. Flowers coating every surface of the land save a small area around the orphanage. _His _orphanage. He danced among the stone steps and among the scent of roses and daisies, hand in hand with Sis. He laughed. 

"Sis!! Look what I found!" Young Squall squealed in delight, picking up a thick band of silver. It glinted in the sun. "SIS!!" He squealed again, running towards her as fast as his little legs would carry him. Sis turned around with a bright smile on her face. Her brown hair hung just around her shoulders.

"Hi Squall…" Her wide sapphire eyes went to his hand which held the ring. "Whatcha got there?" Young Squall beamed up at her.

"I found a ring!" Her eyes widened even more.

"Really?" His head bounced up and down furiously. "Really, Really?" He repeated the action. "Well Squall…can I see it?" Just as the words left her mouth, Squall held it out to her in his open palm. Her smile deepened. "Wow…"

"It's pretty isn't it?!" He chirped.

"Yes it is…" Sis ran a finger on the engraving. It was a lion. A roaring lion. Once, Matron had told of a story filled with evil and love. With sorceresses and ugly monsters. And in that story, the hero's marking was a lion. He was cowageous. He didn't know how to say it. But he was pretty sure it meant he was brave. He wanted to be brave too. A small frown darkened her expression.

"What's wrong Sis?" That smile returned.

"Nothing Squall…" Her eyes searched the area then landed on him again.

"Here…you keep it." His jaw dropped down.

"Really?" She grinned.

"Really, really." Throwing his arms around his waist he murmured his thanks. She patted his tousled hair and kissed him on the left cheek. "Now go play with Quisty and Irvine..." At Squall's hesitance, she added, "I'll be there in a minute." Nodding slowly, he began to walk away but stopped short of the orphanage and hid behind a wall. Something was wrong with Sis…and he wanted to find out.

"You can come out now Uncle Laguna." She breathed. The boy peeked out. A tall man with long black hair tied in a 'ponytail' stepped out from the flowers.

"Hyne Elle…you didn't have to push me out in there," The man pointed into the flower field, scratching the top of his head. Sis turned around and ran into him, clasping her arms around his waist.

"It's so good to see you Uncle Laguna!" He smiled down at her and ruffled her long brown hair. Who was this 'guna person? Was it the man she always talked about?

"C'mon Elle, I'm here to bring you home!"

"Really!?" He kneeled in front of her.

"Really, really." He said softly, taking her small hand in his. It wasn't fair! Only Sis did that with him!

"Wait Uncle…I need to tell you something!"

"Okay…but Edea's waiting for us."

"It's about that boy I was talking to." He frowned then scratched his head with a finger.

"Squall right?" Her head nodded. "Cute kid…why did you give him…Raine's ring?"

"Because it's his!" 'guna shook his head and cupped her head.

"You're so generous. Just as your parents would have wanted.

"But Uncle!"

"We should get going now, c'mon, it'll be easier to not say bye to them…it'll be faster…" He said standing up and pulling her arms gently. Squall frowned. Where was that man taking her? Sis wouldn't leave him, all of them would she?

"I have something to tell you!" Ellone called again in an almost whiny tone.

"I know you want to see your friends again but Kiros is waiting for us!" She looked up at him for a long moment then relented, following his lead down, away from the flower field, away from him. She looked back once.

"Where yoo going Sis?…." Young Squall whispered, walking slowly towards the beach.

Bubblegum pink no longer brought a smile to his face. Sunshine yellow no longer signalled a happy day at the beach with Sis. It was merely a reminder of Sis leaving him by himself. Older Squall was swallowed by the light.

* * *

He looked over the bridge and at the light stream of water passing under him. It was so comforting with its babbling sound. He took off his dark black coat and hung it over the railing of the stone arch bridge. He stared out into the dark sky. He shifted his feet carefully, wary of the slickness the rain had caused.

He had stayed out here many nights before and contemplated about his life. Which wasn't much. He thought about how he neglected his daughter for his job working for the Galbadian Military. How he and Rinoa had grown painfully spiteful of each other ever since Julia had died. Julia…hyne, he missed her. If not for her, he would not be gifted with his daughter. If not for her, he would be living his life emptily, hiring prostitutes every weekend as a diversion. If it were not for her, he would not have Squall Leonhart as a son-in-law.

He felt anger towards him. How _dare_ he marry his daughter without his blessings? How dare he impregnate his princess? How dare he take up a part of his daughter he had often longed for? How dare the man endanger himself for a mission and neglect his wife? How dare he…how _dare_ Squall Leonhart become a carbon copy of himself?

He looked down at his hands sighed. They would be bloodied by the end of the night for the murder of his son-in-law. Julia would not be proud.

He was thrown to the ground as a deafening boom thundered across Deling City. Pieces of flaming wood and other materials flew towards him and landed beside him.

General Caraway watched in horror as his mansion—the house he had shared with his wife and daughter—erupted in flames.

* * *

Strong gusting winds whistled by, catching everything in the ways of its currents and pulled it along, including Irvine's hat. Irvine had a difficult enough time to stay on the ground, his thick leather trench coat flying up around him. Dirt and grit flew up and dropped down. Garbage—wrappers, fast food cans—made mini tornados in the air.

Zell was almost across from him, holding strong to a dumpster. Cid was facing the threat of being washed away in the wind. The assassin, he was thrown _into_ the dumpster. Squall…he was where he was, silent, peaceful and undisturbed. It was as if the wind had no affect on him at all. Not a hair on his body shifted with the wind. Then a deafening explosion was heard in the distance. Smoking rising from the residential areas. Out in the street, fiery pieces of wood seemed to float on air.

It was at that same moment when he realized, the areas out in the street were peaceful. The few trees stood still, yet it was still a wonder how the fire floated. Then it came to him.

Magic. Strong magic to create winds—damn strong winds. And he knew one person with powers of that magnitude. The clattering of cell phone hitting the concrete signalled that Cid had reached the same conclusion.

Rinoa.

* * *

He saw the future, and his past, the present and everything in between. Lifelines twirled in and out, some people leaving lives of others just as some were weaved in. Some were lapped on each other, others were far apart, separated by a long field of green lines.

A blue line pulsated red and weaved among many—hundreds, thousands—of strands. He easily recognized it as hers. As much as he wanted to change the future, to prevent everything from happening, he knew couldn't.

He was very vehement in his rules. __

_You stay as long as you don't interfere._

He had to follow them. He had no choice if he were to see her again. Taking one last look at the blue strand, he noticed a light green line in the middle of it. So thin and small he barely caught it as it is. He smiled slightly. He would see her soon. Slowly, Squall took Quistis' outstretched hand and watched the events unfold.

* * *

Her heart beat strongly, pounding in time with a smaller heart. One that barely existed. Her hair, as dark as a raven's feathers, flew out behind her, gliding in flows of air. The world around her was bright, a deep gold glow that illuminated everything. _Everything._ Even her best friend's dead body. Her dark mahogany eyes shimmered with tears.

Everyone was dead and it was all her fault. It was all _his _fault. Her hands were balled up in fists; her fingernails dug deep in her skin and drew blood that fell to the ground. Slowly, she drew power from the pulsating magic inside of her and unleashed it out on Deling City, and most importantly, _him._ She looked down at Quistis and crystalline tears fell from her eyes. Rinoa watched slowly as it fell onto her friend's body. She couldn't feel the wings sprouting from her body.

Quickly, she changed her attention to her knight. Her _dead_ knight. She wouldn't allow his body to be desecrated by criminals.

She didn't notice the warm caramel color of her eyes slowly being swallowed by red. Nor the faint cackle of _Kursed__ SeeDs._ Or that her wings were black.

* * *

He wasn't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to be angry that he had not caught a fish in two years. Not perfectly accepting. He was supposed to be venomously sarcastic. He was supposed to be looking at her lovingly instead of with disgust in his eyes.

Something had changed within him. Ever since news of Edea's death reached Fisherman's Horizon, he had changed. He expected them to follow his words to a T immediately after he said it. He took their friendship for granted.

_Exactly my thoughts. I thought we were a posse._

Words that brought her back to hard times. Something _had_ changed, and Fujin couldn't take it. She ran off to follow him after he left the harbour in a daze, but with a happy smirk. When she realized that he was heading towards the Garden, she considered going back for Raijin.

When she followed him to the dorms, she had seen things she had never wanted to. An angel floated in the air, she was ethereally beautiful. Her short, chin length hair almost blended in with her fluffy black wings. Red eyes sparkled brilliantly like rubies from her porcelain complexion. As much as she hated to admit it, Fujin was afraid of her. Yet, the face was familiar, all too familiar.

When Seifer flew out from his spot in the other corner and knelt in front of her, a thousand red-hot needles felt as if they were pressed into her heart. When Rinoa bent to cup his cheek and a smile—so beautiful—so accepting, appeared on his face, time stopped. Pain rushed over her. Drowning her in its constant currents.

"My Sorceress…" He whispered. She smiled down at him then diverted her eyes to look straight at her. If Fujin had not looked away, she would have seen the indecisive look on the sorceresses face. The confusion in her glittering red eyes was directed at Seifer. But immediately it switched to a smile. A hesitant but determined smile.

"My…Knight…you have come to me…but why did you not come earlier?" Her seductive voice cooed. Fujin's pale blue eye looked back up, despite her constant efforts to prevent it doing so. Jealousy and anger, sadness and hurt boiled up in her and threatened to run her down. His evergreen eyes—those eyes she had looked into in the night—looked up at another woman, shining with devotion.

"I couldn't feel you until…until recently…My Sorceress…Ultimecia…I will serve you again…" Fujin winced, missing Rinoa's surprised expression that disappeared almost immediately. Her wings flapped ever so slightly and she knelt to his level caressing his cheek.

"Seifer," She said it softly, like distant words flying on air, and Seifer—her knight—looked as if he revelled in it. Instantly, the silver haired woman stood from her spot and ran, unable to watch anymore. She ran as fast as her legs would carry her. Back to Raijin, back to Fisherman's Horizon. She cried tears she didn't even know she had.

She shouldn't have fallen in love. Three summers ago, she should have seen what was right in front of her eyes. She should have known she never had a chance.

* * *

**Author's Note- **Yes I know, Fujin is so out of character but honestly, it had to be this way. Anyway, don't forget to **review!!**


	4. The Full Circle

**Part Four**

Each and every word she spoke felt like bile in her mouth. They were lies, and she didn't think Seifer knew that she _was_ lying to him. But his help was needed if she were to succeed in what she _needed_ to do. It was essential that she get Squall back. Rinoa would not be able to live without her husband, and she wasn't willing to let her child grow up without a father.

If she were to forsake time itself, she would need Seifer's help. So why not let him believe that she was Ultimecia, it couldn't hurt, but of course, she needed to figure out what to do after she succeeded, and she would succeed. She had to.

First, she needed her revenge. Destroying an empty house wouldn't do. She needed to pay her father a little visit.

* * *

Zell was shocked. No, shocked didn't describe what he really felt. He was scared. He was frightened more than he had been during the whole Ultimecia saga. Squall's body was disappearing. First it was the insane winds that threatened to lift them away…but now…

Both he and Irvine had desperately tried to break through the barrier that surrounded the limp body, but it stayed strong, like an infinitely strong shell and protect barrier. It reminded him of one of Quistis' Blue Magic Spells. Mighty Guard.

Soon, they would have no body to give to Laguna and Ellone. Soon, they would be accused of the murder of his best friend. With one longing look back at Squall's fading body, Zell Dincht ran off.

His idea of his future crumbled in front of him. He would not be able to find the girl of his dreams. He would not be able to become the best Martial Artist in the Garden. Every puzzle piece he had created no longer fit together. He had to start over again. So he would first go to the person he trusted the most, other than Squall. Ma Dincht.

* * *

Strangely, Irvine understood why Zell had run from them, from Squall. Though he had not spoken a word. His opaque blue eyes glittered sadly like stars and spoke stronger than a thousand words could. They _would_ be suspected for their Commander's disappearance, and all their hard work and effort to become SeeDs would have gone down the porcelain by then. Sending an apologetic look at Headmaster Cid, Irvine too ran off.

Selphie was his life. She stayed with him despite his constant lapses of judgement with other women. But this time he would return that trust, that love, back; ten-fold. But wouldn't this incident test that trust again? Likely. But it was a chance he was willing to take with her.

* * *

Quistis sat on a tall stone, watching the babbling brook and its tiny inhabitants. The sky was a majestic blue with a bright sun burning in the sky. Not a cloud was seen from East to West, South to North. She snuck a peek at Squall. She was willing to bet her life on the fact that he was not seeing the image she was. But nevertheless, when he turned to look at her, she offered a hand. The instructor was more surprised that he took it!

But soon after the image changed she realized her mistake. She wasn't an instructor anymore. Her life was already taken, from a friend no less, so what was the point of calling herself that? She was an ex-ex-instructor. For a few moments, while she watched the strands of Time pulsate and live, she mused with the idea. Her parents—whoever they were, or are—would not be proud.

An odd idea popped into her head at that moment. _If_ her parents were dead…wouldn't she be able to find them here? After whispering her ideas to Squall, he wrenched his eyes off Rinoa's Timeline and nodded in approval at her idea. Smiling back at him, she patted his shoulder and disappeared into the light.

Time passed as Squall sat on his stone, watching his beloved wife's life. He waited for hours. Or at least what seemed like hours. But soon, someone came to him and patted him on the shoulder, much like Quistis had done. Squall nodded and instantly he knew.

Quistis wasn't coming back. She was happy with her parents. She wasn't coming back. Squall almost cried.

Almost.

* * *

Rinoa didn't walk. She didn't run through Deling City's oddly empty streets. She glided past, her feet just inches from the pavement. Seifer speed walked beside her, gripping his sheathed gunblade tightly with a grim expression. Silence drifted to the air until his thick boots cut through.

Soon, the smoke drifting up into the air beaconed to her. Caraway's house was near. She smiled and watched as Seifer went on the hunt. She made lightning crash down on the earth and Thunder to shake it. She wanted chaos, she wanted death. Especially her father's. The future cackled as Rinoa laughed.

* * *

General Caraway used to be a soldier, back about 31 years ago or so. He trained hard, and did his best to actually defeat foes. He had done missions from guerrilla style combat, to gunfights. He knew how to hide from predators, but that didn't mean he was good at it.

Seifer found him easily, for he hid poorly between a thickly covered spot of bright green vegetation. It didn't take long before green was covered with red.

* * *

Cid sat in shock beside Phoenix, head in hands. Squall's body had disappeared already. Nothing of his possession existed. His gunblade, his blood, simply was gone. And it seemed, a part of him disappeared as well. Laguna and Ellone, they would most definitely believe him, but would the others? Would the other Headmasters choose him fit to continue to rule over the Garden?

It wasn't fair. He had nothing to live for anymore. Soon, everything he had held dear would be taken away from him. Edea was gone, her spirit up in the heavens. No…she wasn't watching over him, he didn't deserve her guidance.

But she had given it, up until the day she died. She had told him not to send that team of SeeDs and Cadets to Esthar to help clear out the monsters. He had done so, regardless of her pleadings. And now she was dead. He couldn't do a damn thing about it. He shouldn't have sent them. He should have stopped her from going.

Edea had saved lives that day, and for that, Cid was grateful. But he couldn't bare anymore grief than he already had, it was too strong.

She would have been strong enough though. If she was here, he could face anything. As long as they were together. The headmaster wished she was here. If only there was some way to get her back…

However, it was in the past, he had to look out into the future, and make sure no more lives were lost because of General Caraway, or himself.

* * *

Squall closed his eyes when that blue strand had fully succumbed to the redness. That soft green line was fighting for its life; he could see it try to hold off the streams of red attacking it. But it was too strong. The evil was too strong. Was evil always destined to destroy good? Or could the forces of evil be held off long enough for heroes to arrive. Squall smiled. He already knew that answer, it was too bad he was going to be on the opposite team this time.

He looked at a clock that floated in front of him. It was almost time to go. At least he would see his daughter before hand. At least Rinoa wouldn't have to mourn.

* * *

Seifer came back to her with blood all over his white trench coat. This only gave her confirmation that the deed was done. She had known even before her father's heart had stopped beating that this was to be the future. 

She also knew what she had to do, and how to do this. She saw Zell, Irvine and Selphie become a headmaster for each of the Gardens. She saw Seifer's death—by her hands. She saw Quistis happy. She saw SeeDs battle Ultimecia. But most importantly, she saw Squall by her side.

The future would come soon enough. But first she had someone to sacrifice. An eye for an eye. A life for a life.

* * *

Life was a fine line you dared not cross, for once you did, you may not ever go back. But it _was _possible to go back. That is, if you were willing to. Squall didn't want to. He was perfectly fine with spending time with his grown up, yet still unborn daughter. But had no choice in the matter. He would be wrenched from his place in the Afterlife.

It would, in the end, be a curse to all of humanity. Identical blue eyes stared back at him as he began to fade.

"You're going back now aren't you?" Stony faced, Squall nodded and patted the girl—his daughter—gently on the head. She looked so much like her mother! "But isn't it against the rules?" He diverted his eyes. He knew very well that it was against the rules. He knew he would never see his daughter again. Luckily for her, she didn't know that. At least not at the moment.

"Yes it is…" When he was almost translucent, he took off the thick chain around his neck that held the Griever symbol and dropped it in her lap. It immediately clattered as if it were a solid. It was fully opaque. "Keep this Ella, and never lose it. Show it to my friends when they arrive and they'll know what happened to me…" He put his hand in his pocket.

She gave him a slight smile. "Whatever." Returning the smile, he disappeared altogether. And Ella Julia Leonhart knew.

* * *

Sacrificing Seifer was a painful process. It took much of her strength, though not all of it. She was more powerful than that! His blood was spilt on the floor of Odin's keep in Centra. Blood patterns decorated the walls like beautiful designs. Nothing was left of the Former Knight's body, save his blood of course.

Squall's ring, Griever, lay sodden in the middle of the round room, covered in bright crimson blood. With this, she would take her husband from the wretched Afterlife, and he would spend all eternity with her and their child.

A bright light burst out from the ring, throwing it up in the air. But Rinoa did not look away. It affected her as little as a slight drizzle of rain would a tree. Finally, the light faded away and before her eyes were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

Squall.

Before she could step towards him he gave her that steely gaze and held his arm out, with his palm facing her to stop her in her tracks. It did.

"Stay away from me!"

* * *

Humans beings had hearts. Animals—Ruby Dragons, Sphinxaras, Malboros, Grats—they all had hearts. No matter how ugly or inhuman they _looked._ Every living, breathing thing had a heart. Squall didn't have a heart. Blood did not beat in his veins, or flow from his arteries. His body was dead. His spirit was still alive though. At least he didn't look dead. After taking a quick survey of his appearance, Squall nodded in approval but was quickly detoured; he had another matter to attend to. Rinoa.

He wasn't exactly sure what to do. He _was_ angry at her for tearing him out of his very _happy_ life with his daughter. He was disgusted with what she had become. But she _was_ his wife, and despite everything, he still loved her.

Honestly, Squall couldn't think of the consequences, he just couldn't. He had to follow his heart.

* * *

Her feelings were launched into turmoil. Happiness, then a strong sensation of confusion. No…this was _beyond_ confusion…what was wrong with Squall? Why didn't he allow her to touch him? Hold him? Love him? "Squall?" she called out tentatively, stepping towards him. Her dark navy blue gown swayed with her, brushing against the dark floor. She couldn't remember where she had changed into that…but it didn't matter. "What's wrong honey?" He frowned. His face seemed as if it was chiselled out of stone, yet…a frown appeared on his face… "Squall?" His eyes, bluer than she had ever seen before took a survey of the walls that circled around him. Splashed with Seifer's blood.

Suddenly he looked down at his gloved hands and almost gaped at them. His face was still rock. "Squall? Please…answer me…what's…what's wrong? Look…I don't know…" Her pleadings seemed to only anger him more. "Squall?" She put one heeled shoe in front of the other slowly, almost hesitantly but then immediately ran towards him. A light, brighter than she had _ever_ seen blinded her and pushed her back against the intricately designed walls that told the only tale of what had _really_ happened.

Rinoa didn't even have to look to see that blood dripped from her wings. Her eyes were on her revived husband who, stood in the middle of the room holding the hilt of his gunblade. Lionheart in his hands was driven deep into the ground; it's blue and gold twinkling in all its glory. She held a gasp in as he stood impassively, eyes digging into her; through her; reading her.

"Squall!" He closed his eyes and put his hand into his pocket.

_Together but apart _

She frowned. The voice, _his_ voice rang true and clear but his lips moved not an inch.

_Eternity and never._

_Life and light_

"What are you doing!" She screamed a soft wind stirring. No windows were present in the bloodied room. Nor an open door. "Squall?"

_Death and darkness_

_Twice the sight_

_May it be not forever._

She ran towards him, her wings giving her some kind of advantageous speed. But she couldn't reach him. Why? What had she done to him that was so wrong! She had only loved him with her whole being…

"Squall!" Dead eyes looked at her. A translucent blue. It took just moments for her to realize that his whole body was translucent. He was disappearing!

"I'm sorry Rinoa…I can't stay…" His voice was hollow, lifeless.

"Squall? Please let me in! Squall! What's happening?" His eyes dropped to the ground in front of her.

"You brought me back from the edge of insanity. You helped me find my home in Limbo. You were a rock that I held onto when Ultimecia tried to push me away into the tides of time. You gave me a family. But this…You resurrect me from a life of…of happiness with Quistis and our daughter! I can't forgive that. I can't forgive you for it either." Tears immediately came to her eyes. He was leaving! He was going back!

"Squall…please don't go…" She cried, putting her hands on the invisible shield holding her back. "I don't understand…Squall!" He smiled at her.

"I'm doing this for the future…" He whispered. Something burst inside of her. It's surged forward in such away, she, herself, was surprised, and somewhat alarmed. What was happening to her? With a single hand, she dispersed the shield separating her from her husband and swept him up in tides of energy.

He didn't even flinch. But that did not erase the fact that he was still disappearing. If he disappeared a second time…then…she wasn't going to let him slip though her fingers a second time.

* * *

It was coming, the end—the beginning. The beginning of the end…either one, it was coming regardless. He had no need to prepare himself for the blow; he was already feeling its affects. Would he always be this emotionless? No…he wouldn't…at least not yet…he still had many lessons to learn. For one, how not to love.

Rinoa's eyes burned with fury, accusing him of betrayal. But what betrayal had he done to her, he had _let_ himself leave the afterlife to be with her. He had protected his daughter from the truth, thereby lying to her. Life was not fair. He had learnt that long ago. But all he could think of was how, because of her, their daughter would not be able to. He could not find the strength to tell her of their child's demise. She would have to learn of it herself.

He stood strong, unwavering in his place as a burst of magic flew at him from his wife's outstretched hands. The last thing he saw was the blood of his rival before everything went dark.

* * *

_I'm so sorry…_

_Its fine…I'll be okay…_

_No you won't…you'll just continue to ignore me and be cold to me and…I can't take it anymore!_

_Of course you can't…I was never cold to you…_

_Hyne__…I know I did something wrong…but I didn't mean to…you made me do this Squall…_

_Did I? No…I didn't make you do anything. Everything you've done was a repercussion of your past. Of the future. It's all set Rin. We just have to live it out. _

_Hyne__…you've changed already. _

_I've changed a long time ago…you just don't choose to see it. _

_I wish I did…then maybe it would have worked out differently. I mean…we could have been happy! You would be standing beside with your gunblade and everything and we could just live out our lives on Centra. Or Esthar with your father and Ellone. _

_And then what?__ When you die, and you have to transfer your powers off to another innocent woman. Hyne…Rin, you have three times the powers that previous sorceress' had…you would have ruined the timelines. _

_What are you talking about?_

_…nothing.__ Nevermind, I shouldn't have told you anything. _

_Squall…_

_You'll know soon enough…_

_What?_

_It's something bad isn't it? _

_Yeah it is…but on the bright side, we get to have a jolly ol' visit with the Dad. _

_What's wrong with Laguna?_

_Nothing is…_

_SQUALL! Hyne, you're such a bastard, you answer me like I'm nothing to you! Do you like playing games with me!_

_No I don't. But I have to. I love you. _

_I love you too Squall and there's no avoiding. We have to talk with Laguna._

_Sure. _

_What?_

_You forget a bit of the puzzle Rinny…_

_Huh?_

_I can't object to anything you say. You turned me into Griever remember? Or did you forget…?_

_Oh…yeah…but you're happy this way right?_

_…_

_Squall! _

_I'm happy as I can be Rin…_

* * *

…Should he have told her the truth? Should he have told her that he was the happiest when he was with her, despite what she had done and what she was inevitably going to do? No…he wouldn't tell her that. Of course he couldn't, it was all part of the plan. Everything made sense to him and eventually it would to her as well. But he knew that it wouldn't be in the near future.

Squall saw everything that she saw. He couldn't very well walk by himself, at least not yet. And it was a definite possibility that they wouldn't be let within a hundred yards of Esthar if he was.

Rinoa walked calmly through the crowded walks. Many were armed well, though it was not often the creatures of the Lunar Cry would traverse past the boarders. Not anymore anyway.

For once, he actually looked forward to see Laguna. He could just imagine the face he would get. Squall would have laughed if he could. But now, he couldn't do anything without his Sorceress' permission. But then again…was he still her knight? He wasn't a human anymore, that was obvious, but…could he still protect her when she couldn't by herself?

Squall would make sure that she would get the proper protection; he _was_ going to protect her, even if it took years to do so. He had to be the strongest GF…the others wouldn't be able to protect her. But the Ultimate GF could.

* * *

It seemed Laguna did not take well for his son being turned into a GF. Neither did Kiros…or Ward…or Ellone. _Especially_ Ellone. It seemed everyone was unhappy with her decisions. Everything just wasn't going right!

It wasn't supposed to be like this! They were supposed to go to Winhill and raise a family! They were supposed to live happily ever after. Rinoa needed change! She just couldn't live in the disappointment and disgust her friends would surely throw at her. A way to fix everything was what she had to think of. Maybe…She couldn't change time could she? If she could somehow go back in time…then everything would be alright…

Maybe…just maybe…when they're in the past, she could make time stop so they could live where they were the happiest; when they were the happiest…

Maybe…just maybe if Ellone accepts her proposition, it could work…

Maybe…just maybe, if she could just _remember_ why the idea felt so wrong, she would figure out another way.

But she couldn't remember, no matter how much she tried. And Squall wasn't telling. So Rinoa stuck with the plan.

Time was _going_ to stop, one way or the other. Maybe then she and Squall could have their happy ending.

**END**

* * *

**Author's Final Notes-**OMG! It's over! OH well…I'm kind of glad it is, after all, it took waaaay too much of my time to write this. Heck, this was a bitch to edit. But it's all good.

If you're confused, send the questions you may have to me via review or e-mail and I'll try to e-mail back.

Thanks for all the awesome reviewers who had given this darned fic a chance!

Please remember to **review, review review! _Constructive Criticism_ is totally welcome! **And of course, if Rinoa seems a little out of character near the end, well…it was pretty much with purpose. At least, I HOPE she's out of character a little bit…and I apologize for any other OOC stuff.

Also, if you could, please try and read my other fics! Thanks for everything!


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